Nihilism
by x-Lazart-x
Summary: Henry decides to try and save Eileen from Walter...but is he really going for Eileen?


I crept forward slowly on light feet, crowbar clutched in my overly sweaty hand. My breathing sounded loud and harsh to my own ears, though I was trying to make the least sound possible. This was absolutely crazy. I should have stayed in the room where I was nice and safe. Instead though, I was acting the idiot.

Eileen had been caught. She was now in Walters clutches. And it was all my fault. Hell I didn't even know if she was still alive, yet I was risking so much more than just my neck to try and save her. She wasn't worth this. So I'd stalked her for awhile, it didn't mean I owed anything to her!

Still for some unknown reason here I was, inching round the corners and heading for the cells. I hadn't seen Walter in a couple of days now, almost a week. That wasn't normal and I'd started to worry, well not worry…just you know, wonder, about what had happened to him. I was even tempted to go through the hole in my wall and look for him but that would have been crazy! Nobody sane would do that except if they were in love. And of course I couldn't love Walter, after all he is trying to kill me.

Yet here I am looking for Eileen. I don't love her either. Hell I barely like her at all. I was purposely ignoring that stupid little voice in the back of my head that said I was doing this solely for me. What did I have to gain from this? Realistically? Nothing, nothing at all. Still the hope of catching a glimpse of Walter was hard to ignore, so I'd just have to pretend it was hope of finding Eileen alright instead.

There didn't seem to be anyone or anything about at all. I reached the cells unchallenged and found Eileen sitting against the back cell wall, humming slightly to herself, and she waved when she saw me coming. Relaxing slightly I hurried past the open cell door and towards her.

Now, when I look back I realize what an idiot I was. That I did it sub-consciously, I wanted to get caught all along. The fact that the cell door was open should have tipped me off that something was seriously wrong. The lack of people should have had me on alert. And realistically I shouldn't have bothered going in the first place. I didn't really go for Eileen, I was there for Walter.

"What are you just sitting here for, come on!" I said beckoning but she just shook her head and urged me closer. The jail door creaked behind me and I spun to see a grinning Walter.

"I knew you'd come to see me!" he exclaimed, sauntering towards me cheerfully.

"I came for her!" I objected feebly.

"Of course you did, well on you go. You can take her and leave then." I couldn't help hesitating. I'd only been here a few minutes, I didn't want to leave him yet, it had been a week after all. I glanced at Eileen who was paling rapidly, Walter who looked disappointed and the cell door that was lying wide open. Which to choose?!

Obviously I took too long because the door slammed shut and Walter grabbed my by the shoulder forcing me to face Eileen.

"You waited too long Henry! If you'd wanted to leave you would have, don't forget I gave you the choice. You choose to do this," his voice was low and smooth as if to prevent me from freaking out. But it was too late, my heart was racing and it leapt up a pace when the knife was thrust into my sweaty palm.

"Wai-What?" I sputtered out, watching wide eyed as he took a step back.

"Well I want you to kill her of course! A gun is so….cold, so I made it more personal, that's why you have a knife instead!"

"But I can't kill her!"

"Well…there is always the option of killing me instead," he offered up easily, knowing that I wouldn't be able to do it. I started to tremble and I worried I was going to cut myself. Walter stepped up behind me giving a hard shove, sending me sprawling towards her, harshly ordering me to do it.

I don't know what came over me. Really I don't. A second later Walters fist smashed into my head and I just kind of lost it. Before I knew what I was doing I'd brought the knife slashing down. All I could think about was pleasing him, I barely registered the blood that had splattered out of the wounds and all over my clothes, or her pleas for me to stop that became a gurgle before stopping.

Laughter and clapping made me snap back to my senses. Bile rose as I looked at what once had been Eileen. Stumbling back I fell to my knees trying to block out the image and the taunting claps.

"I'm so proud of you! She looks really great," Walter chuckled grabbing me by the collar and slamming me against the wall hard. This is what I choose, I repeated his words as guilt and excitement coursed through me. How could I enjoy this? I wanted to scream as I thought of what I'd done…but I couldn't do anything as Walters mouth smashed over mine and he dominated me. And I let him. And the worse part? I liked it, and he knew it too.


End file.
